Ninety-first day of work selfie

I got this dress at H&M.  I may or may not have bought it specifically for Canada Day because it’s red and white.  I wore it on the first day of the month, so why not wear it again on the last day of the month?  I got my black sweater from Suzy Shier.  My necklace is from Fan Expo and my earrings are from Claire’s.  My bracelet is from Sears and my ring is from UBC.  I tried touching up my nails with glitter polish but they’re still pretty chipped.  I restraightened my hair again, but it keeps unintentionally flipping out at the bottom.

I’m wearing makeup today because it’s my birthday.  Or at least I was.  Let me tell you how I failed today.  I bought this new fiber lash mascara on Car Free Day and decided to try it out this morning.  But I screwed that up and ended up having a huge amount of fibers just getting in my eyes.  All morning it was irritating me and then I looked in the mirror and noticed my eye was red.  It was early afternoon and I had no makeup remover with me, so I had to attempt to remove all my eye makeup with a paper towel and water.  And of course I was wearing a lot of it.  I’m pretty sure there are still some fibers stuck in my eyes and now there are darker circles under my eyes and it probably looks like I’ve been crying.  So my review of fiber lash mascara, is don’t do it, especially if you’re prone to  screwing things up.  At least with my eye being red, it matches my dress?

Why do I wear makeup?

I never wore makeup in high school.  We technically weren’t supposed to because it was a private school.  But that rule was never really followed.  It wasn’t as important as the rules against nail polish or big earrings.  Which was unfortunate because I enjoyed wearing both those things.  I thought that wearing makeup in high school would have been pointless anyway.  It was an all girls school.  Who would I be trying to impress?

I never understood it when I would see girls applying their makeup in excess, when I had never even used foundation before and the thought of an eyelash curler kind of scared me.  There was just no need.  But if I suppose if I had the money and the know how at that point in time, I would have used it too.  It wasn’t about trying to impress anyone.  It was about making yourself feel good.  And also impressing the people you would be seeing after school.

It wasn’t until nearing the end of high school that I actually started wearing makeup.  In Grade 12 I figured I should try and make some sort of an effort for grad.  Up until that point it was mainly lip gloss and eye shadow and that was pretty much it.  Eye shadow was fairly easy and I liked trying certain colours.  The first time I actually bought eye shadow was long before that, at the end of Grade 7.  I remember my mom told me not to get it because I didn’t need it and then she got upset when I bought it anyway.

Today, I usually wear makeup whenever I leave the house.  You can’t always tell, since you would rarely see me without and not know the difference.  It’s one of those things, once you start, you need it from then on.  I envy those girls who never have to wear foundation because their skin is flawless and they look better without it.  I soon learned that I was not one of those girls.  I think I developed a bit of a superstition as well, and I feel like bad things happen when I don’t wear makeup.  There have been certain days when I’ve decided to go without it, and they were not good days at all.  It must be a sign.

My mom has always told me that I didn’t need makeup.  She still does.  She tells me that I should just “let my natural beauty shine through”.  This sounds like good advice and a sweet thing to say, but it’s not something that I’m willing to do.  Although I do a pretty crappy job of putting it on anyway, so it’s not like it actually improves upon my “natural beauty” that much anyway.  My mom doesn’t wear makeup, so I was always pretty clueless about it.  And I never really learned how to properly put it on.

I also hate how expensive it is.  My mom made me think of how much money I would save if I were to just go without it.  The other day I spent $31 at the makeup counter.  Which isn’t a lot, since there was a deal.  But my mom thought it was a lot because she felt it was unnecessary.  But it was nothing compared to the lady in front of me who was buying some expensive products that I wasn’t willing or able to splurge on.  I mean I don’t buy the completely crappy stuff, not anymore anyway.  But considering I’m somewhat incompetent at applying it, there seems to be no point in me springing for the best quality stuff.  And since I do such a crappy application job, maybe my “natural beauty” can peak through it just a little.