Why do we stay?

In bad relationships.  In bad friendships.  In bad jobs.  In bad situations.  Why?  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Often times it almost seems as though some people actually enjoy being miserable.  I think that I may be one of those people.  But do we actually enjoy being miserable, or do we just happen to find ourselves in a lot of miserable situations, which we are too lazy to bother to get out of?  It’s hard to say.

Those who know me will know that I like to complain.  A lot.  And there is never a shortage in my life of things to complain about.  The majority of my posts tend to be complaints, some of them frivolous, some of them serious, some of them in between.  Many a time they are trivial things that I really should just take in stride and let go of.  But I never let go of anything.  My complaints do vary though, sometimes I’ll be mad at translink because my bus was late, sometimes I’ll be mad someone for being blatantly rude or treating someone badly.

Some things in life we can’t control, others we can.  It’s puzzling why we often get upset about things that we do have a least some ability to change.  Maybe not change directly, but change in how we choose to deal with them.  If a person or a situation has gotten so out of hand that you are in distress, why stay?  Why not just walk away and be done with it?  There are always other options.  No one can force you to stay if trying to make things work is slowly killing you.  It isn’t fair and no one should be put in that position.

Sometimes we naively just choose to hope for the best and believe that things will get better.  Sure, on occasion things actually may turn around for you but more often than not people and things will be set in their ways.  This is why I think that maybe we enjoy being martyrs to some degree.  Maybe we’re afraid to leave a bad situation, because if life was suddenly a whole lot better, what then would we have to complain about?

It’s probably a matter of balance.  There will always be crap in your life that can’t be avoided.  A perfect life is not possible.  But a good life is.  We have to make difficult decisions, but sometimes the difficulty is our own doing, as we make situations more complicated than they need to be.  It’s up to us to make choices and try to figure out what things we are strong enough to put up with, and what things we are smart enough to walk away from.  But if you happen to make the wrong decision and end up miserable, you can always just blog about it.


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