So why bother trying to blog about it? When I can’t even explain it? That seems rather useless, doesn’t it? Yes. Yes it does. I guess I just want to express my frustration because I am usually good with words and good at explaining things to people in a way that makes sense. I can deliver facts and information and details and give a generally good depiction of things to a third party. Usually. But some things you just can’t explain, no matter how hard you try.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have been wronged but you can’t really even explain what it is that has transpired? You know all too well that something isn’t right but you are just incapable of putting into words what the problem is. You have it in your head but it’s kind of all over the place. You may think for a brief moment that you have it, and try to express it but to no avail. It won’t come out. At least it won’t come out right. And as you try in vain to express yourself, you are faced with blank, confused stares. And you feel alone.
It is extremely frustrating. I think that we’ve all been there, to some degree. We all have moments and experiences that we would like to express to another person, for understanding, for validation, for reassurance. But sometimes even the most compassionate, intelligent, or sympathetic person simply just won’t get it. And it’s not their fault. And it’s not your fault. And it leaves you both frustrated. How can this be remedied? I don’t know. Trying to figure that out is almost as difficult as trying to explain the unexplainable.
It’s confusing. You end up lost in your own head. You wish there was someone, at least one person who could truly understand where you’re coming from. At least having validation from someone to prove that you’re not crazy would lift the burden just a little bit. Now I sound like I’m talking about depression. I guess I don’t really know what I’m talking about exactly. Remember, I can’t explain it.
It’s kind of like trying to explain an inside joke to an outsider. Except that it’s not funny. It’s quite the opposite. And so you give up on trying to explain it and just accept the fact that no one understands. But maybe it’s okay that no one understands. They don’t need to, not really. It would be helpful, but it’s not essential. If you’re strong enough to have put up with problems, then you are also strong enough to overcome them alone. It would be nice if you could explain it to someone. But in the end, you understand it and you know. And you don’t need to explain it to yourself.