Baby it’s cold outside

It’s a popular Christmas song.  A lovely duet.  So romantic.  A true Christmas love song.  Not.  There’s much more to to this song than meets the eye.  Or the ears, I guess.  But yeah.  If you really think about it and listen to the lyrics, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on here.  Date rape.

Okay, I know that seems rather extreme.  But really, that’s what it is.  I mean it’s not happening yet, but the events leading up to it are.  The girl clearly wants to go home to her family, as it’s getting late and is cold outside.  If she stays any longer, the snow will continue to pile up and she’ll be snowed in, unable to make it back safely.  If the man in the song was truly a gentleman, he would respect her wishes and call her a cab.  Instead he makes the excuse that there are “no cabs to be had out there”.  Well maybe that’s because you haven’t called for one yet?

The argument could be made that she wants it as much as he does.  She beats around the bush trying to make excuses, but ultimately doesn’t leave.  Her biggest concern seems to be her reputation.  She’s worried about what her family will think if she spends the night and that rumours will go around.  She says that she “oughta say no”, as if it’s what would be expected of a lady, as opposed to what she really wants to say.

But then she does say “the answer is no”.  Which he promptly ignores and continues on about the weather, how happy he is that she dropped by, and how delicious her lips look.  He makes her feel guilty for wanting to leave him, saying that she is “hurting his pride” and saying “how can you do this thing to me?”.  He’s clearly hoping to get her drunk enough so she’ll spend the night, and is successful in having her agree to another “half a drink more”, probably followed by the other half a drink and who knows how many more after that.  It probably wouldn’t take that many more.  She seems like a cheap drunk.

Not only does he make her feel guilty as a means of making her stay, he then tries to pretend that his main concern is for her and for her safety.  He’d be upset if she “caught pneumonia and died”.  That’s just extreme.  Clearly he’s not a doctor or a medical professional, because being in cold weather does not give you pneumonia.  Yes, it can lower your immune system and worsen conditions, but being in the cold for a bit isn’t going to kill you.  Then he just keeps reminding her of how damn cold it is outside and that he’s concerned for her, as her hands are “cold as ice”.  He lures her in with promises of a warm fireplace to escape from the storm.

How does all this make him a rapist, you ask?  Maybe he genuinely is concerned for her.  Maybe he does care about her safety and has no intention of making any moves on her.  In fact, he has a pull out couch, which he will go sleep on, offering her his bed to have a good night’s sleep until the storm has passed.  And the drink he’s going to give her is some hot chocolate or herbal tea to help her sleep.  Not.  She specifically asks him at one point “say, what’s in this drink?”.  That’s right, he’s roofied her.  At this point it doesn’t matter whether she wants to stay or if she’s worried about her family, because she’s not going to remember.

I’ve heard this song a lot this Christmas, as is the case every year.  And every time I do, I want to yell at the girl to get the hell away while she still can.  Call yourself a cab, this man will lie and say he can’t get one.  Walk if you have to, the storm can’t be that bad.  Just make it to the door before he starts with all this crap.  Call a reliable friend to pick you up maybe.  And for the love of God, don’t drink whatever the hell he’s given you!

2 thoughts on “Baby it’s cold outside

  1. Young girls have always been warned about men by their mothers and in the past any blame was always put on the girl. Guys have been getting a free ride from their responsibilities for ever.

    This song was popular in the early 20th century.

    ARTIST: Flanders and Swann TITLE: Have Some Madeira, M’Dear Lyrics and Chords
    She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice She was fair, she was sweet seventeen. He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice. He was base, he was bad, he was mean. He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat to view his collection of stamps. And he said as he hastened to put out the cat the wine, his cigar and the lamps

    Have some madeira, m’dear You really have nothing to fear I’m not trying to tempt you, that wouldn’t be right You shouldn’t drink spirits at this time of night Have some madeira, m’dear It’s really much nicer than beer I don’t care for sherry, one cannot drink stout And port is a wine I can well do without It’s simply a case of chacun a son gout Have some madeira, m’dear

    Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass And the fate of the maiden who topes She lowered her standards by raising her glass Her courage, her eyes and his hopes She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did He promptly refilled it again And he said as he secretly carved one more notch On the butt of his gold-headed cane

    Have some madeira, m’dear, I’ve got a small cask of it here And once it’s been opened, you know it won’t keep Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep Have some madeira, m’dear, it’s really an excellent year Now if it were gin, you’d be wrong to say yes The evil gin does would be hard to assess Besides it’s inclined to affect me prowess Have some madeira, m’dear

    Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said With her antepenultimate breath “Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red Be prepared for a fate worse than death” She let go her glass with a shrill little cry Crash! tinkle! it fell to the floor When he asked, “What in Heaven?” she made no reply Up her mind, and a dash for the door

    Have some madeira, m’dear, rang out down the hall loud and clear A tremulous cry that was filled with despair As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air Have some madeira, m’dear, the words seemed to ring in her ear

    Until the next morning, she woke up in bed With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head And a beard in her ear ‘ole that tickled and said Have some madeira, m’dear


  2. Pingback: I got a pedicure | Random and unnewsworthy

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