I fail at nails

I fail at a lot of things quite frankly.  Some important, some trivial.  Failing at nails is trivial.  But it is especially frustrating because of the fact that it’s something so simple.  I am terrible at painting my nails.  I don’t know why.  It’s something I never mastered.  I’m like a little kid who just can’t colour in between the lines.  Little girls could paint nails better than I can.  Little boys could probably paint nails better than I can.

How do I manage to mess up something so painfully easy?  I don’t know, it just happens.  I start out fine, but then the brush slips and the polish gets onto the skin surrounding my nail in addition to the nail itself.  And I try to correct this but to no avail.  One time my friend took a look at my nails and asked me if I was drunk when I painted them.  Sadly, I was not.  I was completely sober.  Just incompetent.  Maybe being drunk would’ve even made an improvement somehow, that’s how bad they were.

Maybe I need to invest in better nail polish.  Nowadays I try to only use the quick dry ones.  Because the painting of them isn’t actually the biggest problem.  On occasion I can somehow manage to do a decent job of it.  It’s waiting for them to dry that kills me.  I always, always touch something before they’re dry, and the results are never good.  I guess I just don’t have the patience for it.  I try to be careful, I really do.  Often times I don’t even touch anything but the polish still gets smudged and I don’t know how it happened.  Sometimes while closing the bottle of nail polish, my nail hits the bottle and that’s the end of it.  And when I try to fix it, it just doesn’t look right and only makes things worse.

I went to a private school for both elementary and high school, where we were not allowed to wear nail polish.  Which I always thought was stupid.  I think being deprived of my desire to paint my nails regularly for 13 years probably contributed to my failing at it today.  If I wanted to paint my nails, it would have to be on the weekend, and then I’d be forced to remove it by Monday morning.  I can recall times when I forgot to do so, and spent the day hiding my nails so as not to get in trouble.

After painting badly and getting smudged after touching things, my nails come out looking mediocre at best.  Which I am sometimes okay with.  Not proud of, but okay with.  But even mediocrity doesn’t last.  After a few days, they begin to chip.  Badly.  And I can always put on additional coats and repaint to try and salvage them, but sometimes I’m too lazy or I wait too long.  I let things get out of hand.  And then my nails are just horribly chipped, with little bits of colour hanging on for dear life.  But I don’t even bother to get out the nail polish remover to put them out of their misery.  I let them linger in a disheveled state of shame until I suddenly feel inspired to remove what’s left and try again.

I’ve heard there’s this new shellac nail polish that lasts longer.  Perhaps if I tried that, I could avoid the problem of chipping?  But since it’s me, I feel like I would somehow still screw it up.  I suppose I could splurge and get them done at the salon, but then I feel even worse when I accidentally let it chip, because now I’m losing money, not just polish.  I just can’t win.  In my school days, I would hide my nails to avoid getting in trouble.  Today, I hide my nails to avoid the shame.

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4 thoughts on “I fail at nails

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