I would probably fail a drug test

I would like to take this opportunity to share one of my addictions with you.  If you think this is about pot, you’re wrong.  Am I secretly addicted to hard drugs?  No, of course not.  Nothing illegal.  Just something I pick up at the local drug store.  No, not at the pharmacy.  I am not addicted to prescription drugs.  Not yet.  I would hope I still have a few more years until that happens.  Despite what the title may imply, this post is not about drugs of any kind.  Maybe addiction is too strong of a word.  Obsession maybe?

So what am I talking about, if not drugs?  Something simple.  And I don’t need to buy it at the drug store.  Any grocery store will do.  I just usually tend to buy them at London Drugs because they often have good deals on them.  I remember a few months ago, when they first came out, as I made my way down the aisle, they caught my eye.  And it was love at first sight.  At that moment I knew that it was meant to be.  And when I went home and opened the box, it was love at first bite as well.

Dare Simple Pleasures Moments lemon poppy seed cookies.  Yes, rather a long name.  But I have to specify the brand and all that, you know, so you don’t mistake my description for some other random lemon poppy seed cookie.  I would hate for you to think it was something different from the ones I actually mean.  Anyway, these are my new favourite cookies.  I remember the first time I bought them they were a really good price.  And then soon after, the price was jacked way up.  I suppose I was not the only one who soon realized how great they really were.  Lucky for me, London Drugs often has them on sale at 2 for $5, which is really quite a bargain.  I stock up whenever I see this, even if I already have some at home.  One can never have enough.

Perhaps this is why I’ve referred to it as a sort of addiction.  Whenever I see them, I have to buy them.  And whenever I buy them, I have to eat them.  And both the acts of buying them and eating them excite me.  It’s like the name indicates, they’re simple, but they bring you a moment of pleasure.  I could eat the whole box in one sitting.  I don’t, because I shouldn’t.  But I could.  I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten half a box in one sitting before.  And by sitting, I mean standing and waiting at the bus stop.  Hey, I need some way of passing the time while waiting for the bus.

Dare simple pleasures moments also has cranberry with chamomile and creme brulee flavoured cookies.  But neither of these come close to the lemon poppy seed ones.  The creme brulee were alright, but the cranberry chamomile I didn’t really care for.  But due to some weird thinking I have, since they were 2 for $5, I somehow felt the need to buy 2 different flavours.  But after doing so, I realized that I would be stuck with the second flavour, while the lemon ones were finished right away.  I have since overcome this need for diversity among cookies and have come to accept that lemon poppy seed are the only ones for me.

You’re probably still wondering about the title of this post.  Why would I fail a drug test?  Did I use the wrong title on this blog post?  Was the title supposed to actually be “I love lemon poppy seed cookies!”?  No.  I meant what I said.  The connection is the fact that there are poppy seeds in the cookies.  And consuming a large amount of poppy seeds can  cause a false positive in a drug test.  I think back to the Seinfeld episode, where Elaine tests positive after eating poppy seed muffins.  I’m not sure what the actual amount is that you need to consume.  I’m probably nowhere near there.  Yet.  But if I continue with the path I’m on, I may get there faster than I think.  If I even do need to take a drug test, I just hope it’s around the time when these cookies are not on sale.

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5 thoughts on “I would probably fail a drug test

  1. Pingback: I’m glad I missed the bus | Random and unnewsworthy

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