It’s better straight

Before you accuse me of being homophobic, please note that I am referring to hair, not sexual orientation.  And I’m referring to my own hair, not hair in general.  If your hair looks better curly, I respect that.  In fact, I envy you.  If my hair looked better curly, then it would save me a lot of time, effort, and money.  But sadly this is not the case.

My main problem is frizz.  My hair gets ridiculously frizzy, even when I put so called “anti-frizz” products in it.  Nothing ever seems to work.  I would spend time and money and effort but it was all in vain.  It doesn’t help that I’m fairly incompetent when it comes to hair in the first place.  So of course I would be cursed with hair that just won’t behave.

But then I discovered the hair straightener.  Unfortunately, the hair straightener I discovered was a crappy and disappointing one.  I currently own one of those corioliss straighteners that they sell in the mall kiosks.  It’s my second of two, because the first one crapped out on me.  I feel like this one is about to do the same.  They all suck.

After much debate, I finally decided it was time to try out one of those keratin treatments that make your hair straighter, smoother, healthier, and just better looking.  The problem was they are crazy expensive.  And I have limited funds.  But as luck would have it, I managed to find a deal on Social Shopper for a keratin hair smoothing treatment at Ocean Breeze Spa in Yaletown.

The process took over an hour.  She put in the treatment, left it for 15 minutes, then blew dry it, then straightened it.  It took two of them working on my hair simultaneously in order to get it straight.  I would have just given up after fifteen minutes.  Perhaps that’s why I could never managed my hair.  I just don’t have the patience for it.

I’m happy with my hair right now.  But I haven’t washed it yet.  I have to wait at least 48 hours before getting it wet.  Of course when I left the spa, it was raining.  I hovered under my umbrella and hid my hair under my hood, even though I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be wearing a hood.  I’m also supposed to avoid hats or hair clips or tying my hair back until after I wash it.  Otherwise it could end up with kinks in it.  I even stopped by the dollar store to purchase a shower cap.  For the shower, not for the rain.  When I went to bed last night, I got confused as to how I was supposed to sleep on it.  I kept adjusting it and worrying I would mess it up.  Luckily, it still looks pretty good today.

I was told that if I do notice kinks, I should flat iron them right away.  Except that my flat iron is so crappy it wouldn’t make a difference.  If anything, it might just make the situation worse.  I’m also supposed to use shampoo that is free of something harmful.  I can’t remember what it is though.  Should I splurge and buy expensive shampoo?  I mean it would be stupid to pay a lot for the treatment, and then have it all fall apart just because I’m too cheap to buy decent shampoo.

At this point, I’m worried about what’s in store for me after I wash it.  They made it a point to make sure I knew that it wouldn’t stay straight like this.  Unlike the Japanese straightening, this treatment will not make it pin straight, it will just keep it smooth.  But unlike the Japanese straightening, it is also free of harmful chemicals.  Why do chemicals make things better looking?  That’s so unfortunate.

Until I wash my hair, I’m going to be paranoid.  I have not yet passed the 48 hour period.  When I’m taking public transit, I’m worried that the sick guy behind me is going to sneeze on my hair.  When I’m walking outside and see a bunch of birds overhead, I get scared that one will poop on my head.  It’s never happened before, but I’m sure they would choose a time when it would bother me most.  They’re conspiring against me, I swear.

Hopefully, after I wash it, it will still be manageable and decent looking.  It’s supposed to last for a few months, depending on how well I take care of it.  When something depends on how well I take care of it, we have a problem.  I will keep you posted on how things go with my hair.  Not that you care one way or the other.  You just want entertaining blog posts.  Don’t worry, there’s lots of good stuff inside my head.  It’s just about time there was good stuff on top of it as well.

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6 thoughts on “It’s better straight

  1. Pingback: I like it dirty | Random and unnewsworthy

  2. Pingback: To wash or not to wash? | Random and unnewsworthy

  3. Pingback: With great hair comes great responsibility | Random and unnewsworthy

  4. Pingback: Your appointment’s at 12, but we won’t be open | Random and unnewsworthy

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