This is the stage I like to refer to as denial. I have now gone without my phone for two days. After having the misfortune of falling in the toilet on Wednesday, it is now still sitting in a container of rice trying to recuperate. Spending two days without my phone gave me the sense that I am able to survive without it, hence the title of this post. I don’t actually need it in order to get through the day. But more than likely, I’m just telling myself this in order to feel better about the fact that I can’t use it right now.
I miss it though. Not when it freezes. Or when the apps don’t work. Or when I can’t connect to the internet. Or when it won’t let me access a message. Or when it takes fucking forever to respond to what I’ve clicked on. But I miss it. When it flashes and vibrates to indicate a new message, and then actually allows me to go and check said message. And then allows me to respond to said message. And use my apps. And browse. And let me know what time it is. And just be there for me. I miss it.
But maybe this happened for a reason? Maybe we needed some time apart. We have been going through a bit of a rough patch lately, so perhaps this was for the best. It’s allowed me to see what life is like without it. And allowed it to have some time away from me as well. Maybe at the end of all this our relationship will be stronger and we’ll be able to look past the flaws and make the best of things.
The question now is how much longer should I wait? Also, how much longer CAN I wait? Apparently I have more willpower than expected. But who knows how long that will last? Is two days enough time? Should I wait another day? Maybe if I wait longer, it will be more special when I finally get to use it again. I don’t want to rush into things. We should probably take it slow if we want to make this work.