A couple months ago, I went to the shooting range in Port Coquitlam. Why so far? It was the only one I’d heard of. And my friend offered to drive. And we felt like shooting something. So why not? Also Friday is ladies night, so they waive one of the fees. It was my first time going there, although I did go to the gun range in Vegas a couple years ago. But what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, so I don’t think that time counts. And it all happened so fast that time, I barely remember it.
It was a little crowded, since it does get busy on ladies night, but the wait wasn’t too bad. We got to choose from a wall of targets as to which one we wanted to shoot at. I wonder if anyone’s ever tried to bring in their own target. Like a picture of someone. But I’m guessing they don’t condone that sort of thing. The ones they had included a basic body shape, zombies, a butcher, a killer dog, and of course, Hello Kitty. Because why would you not want to shoot Hello Kitty?
But I noticed that they had special targets on promotion where they would donate the money to the BC Cancer Foundation. So obviously we chose those targets, that way we weren’t just shooting in vain, we were actually helping a good cause. It’s like we were shooting out cancer. And that beats shooting zombies any day.
We then noticed that the target itself was also an ad for the movie One for the Money, which I hadn’t yet heard of at the time. I’m sure some of you still haven’t heard of it. It’s a Katherine Heigl movie, so don’t feel bad. When my friend realized it was a Katherine Heigl movie, she was all the more determined to shoot it. But I think she reluctantly ended up seeing the movie the very next day. Go figure.
Before going in, I wanted to be good at it, but knew full well that I would suck. I lack coordination and aim when it comes to pretty much all sports, and shooting is no different. I mean I’m even bad at darts. Hell, I was even bad at pin the tail on the donkey. So yeah. Not that I completely missed. I just missed most of the time. This is one of the reasons I’ve always stayed away from those carnival shooting games they have at fairs, so as not to throw away money.
It was still fun though. And somehow I managed to get one shot right in the middle of the target. I’m pretty sure that one was a fluke. But if anyone asks, I’ll just say it was all skill, and the reason I missed the other times was because I knew I couldn’t get a shot more perfect than that anyway. I also managed to get a few shots in the head of the target. My friends were better than me. Which I fully expected them to be.
For the most part, I was in total awe of how good of a shot my friend is. Seriously. It scares me. She tore that target apart. It made me feel completely inferior. What’s the female version of emasculated? I sort of felt like that. Think of that episode of Modern Family where Gloria finds out that Claire spends time at the shooting range to relieve stress, and then tells her it’s sad that she goes so often and that’s the best she can shoot. And then picks up the gun and shoots a perfect shot.
But you know what, I’m okay with my lack of skill. It’s not a skill I need to have. I’m happy to not live in a place where everyone feels the need to own a gun. And I hope to never find myself in a real life situation where I would need to use one. Because if my life depended on my ability to fire a gun, I’m not sure if I’d survive. But if such a situation did arise, I would just hope that my friend is there, so she could protect me.