I know I’ve already written a blog post about a guy sitting beside me on public transit. But you knew there would be more where that came from. Because there is never a shortage of annoying people on public transit, especially the ones who sit beside me. Although in this case, I sat beside him, so I guess it was my own fault. But in my defense, it was the only seat left. Also this time I was on a bus, not a sky train. Big difference.
So apparently, believe it or not, there are worse things than crunching apples. Who knew? Well I did actually. But yeah. What was it this time? Well I got on the bus and sat down in the only seat available because I was definitely not in the mood to stand. And as luck would have it, the guy beside me was in a middle of a conversation. On his cell phone. Loudly. And obnoxiously. I myself had a really quick call that I was hoping to make, but there was no hope in hell I would have had hearing anything over this guy talking.
No matter. I could just sit there. Check for new Facebook notifications and tweets, send some text messages, what have you. Update my facebook status and tweet about the fact that the guy beside me was obnoxious, secretly hoping he would see it out of the corner of his eye and realize how annoying he was (he didn’t). But oh my God, it was like he was yelling. WHY DID HE HAVE TO YELL? Not angrily or anything. Just talking obnoxiously loud. For no good reason. I mean I suppose the person he was talking to may have a hearing problem or something. But it’s likely that the reason for his hearing loss was because he spent so much time around this guy.
It wasn’t as if the things he was talking about required a whole lot of enthusiasm or need to yell. He was going to Alberta for a wedding. Okay, I suppose that’s exciting enough, sure. But then he was also talking about how his voicemail wasn’t working so he didn’t know if this guy called him or not or something. And about his job and how he was doing data entry and stuff. Seriously, talk louder, I’d love to hear more, the whole bus would. No one cares about your data entry job, probably not even the guy on the other end of that call.
The worst part was, since it was a relatively happy call, he laughed a lot. And he had one of those really annoying and obnoxious laughs (yes I’m fully aware of my obnoxious overuse of the word obnoxious in this post but it’s the only word I can think of to describe it). I almost wished his friend had some depressing news for him, to make him stop laughing, and maybe lower his voice or even take a moment of silence. But not such luck. Apparently going home to do some of his readings was just such a good conversation topic and so hilarious that it requireed both laughter and yelling.
The talking wasn’t the only thing. He was also simultaneously picking lint off of his sweater. Profusely so. It reminded me of monkeys picking stuff off each other to clean themselves. Like why the hell is there so much lint and whatnot on your damn sweater? Is that lint? Should I be worried? Will whatever it is you’re so desperately trying to remove from your clothing harm me if I come into contact with it? Why am I sitting here?
At one point, I thought it was finally over. He actually ended his call. Thank God. But oh, it was far from over. Because he went and made another call. Of course he did. Why wouldn’t he? Perhaps he has unlimited minutes after 5pm? Mine don’t start until 6pm. Not that I would abuse them like that in public either way. But in any case, I had to endure another equally irritating phone call. I hope his minutes weren’t unlimited and that the extra call put him over his usage limit. Serves him right.
The call did end before my bus ride did and for that I am grateful. He spent the time remaining using his phone to play solitaire. I feel like if he’d had a second phone, he would have used it to continue the phone call and talk to the guy about his solitaire game and then laugh about what fun it was. Thank God he was only able to use it for one thing at a time. I think what bothers me most now though is the lint picking. Why wear the sweater if it’s clearly not ready for public exposure? It’s too bad his iPhone didn’t double as a lint brush.