The surprise

I wanted to give her something special.  Something that I knew she would enjoy.  All I wanted was to make her happy.  I guess I kind of did it without warning.  I knew that she would love it but I also knew that she wasn’t expecting anything.  She thought we were just going out like normal and that nothing was going to happen.  But she thought wrong.

I sat there and waited for the right time to do it.  Was there a right time?  I didn’t know.  But I knew that tonight was the night.  We were close enough that this was something I could do without seeming inappropriate or scaring her off.  Some may have found it awkward.  But I knew that she was different.  She would appreciate what I had to offer.  And so I just whipped it out.  In public.  She was shocked at first but she liked it and in the end she was satisfied and thanked me for it.

So yeah, I’m talking about last night when I gave my friend a mini penis shaped cake pop that I got from the Erotic Cake booth at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show in Vancouver.

cake pop

Nothing says friendship like a mini penis cake pop.

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The most upsetting thing

So I went grocery shopping at Safeway with my dad on Sunday. I picked up some essentials, you know, a lumberjack sandwich, a tub of ice cream, a box of donuts. They also have pie in their baked goods section. I noticed they had a key lime meringue pie. Obviously I had to get one.

That night, I had a very small piece of it. It was good. I was looking forward to having more the following day. I considered taking a piece to work with my lunch but then I would have had to find a container for it and I just couldn’t be bothered. Waiting until I got home the next day would be fine. Or so I thought.

When I came home yesterday, my family was watching Fear Factor. People were in a giant tub of cow’s blood and they had to put the cow’s hearts in their mouths. My only question was why? Seriously, why? Isn’t that highly unsanitary? Not to mention disgusting? Oh wait, I guess I do have more questions than why? Anyway, you would think that would have been the most upsetting thing I saw that day. But you would be wrong.

I went into the kitchen. Sitting on the counter was the foil dish that the pie had been on, as well as the cover. It was empty. Completely empty. I interrupted my family mid Fear Factor viewing to yell “You ate the entire pie?!!”. Seriously, I wasn’t even expecting anyone else to eat any of it, let alone the whole thing. My brothers sort of pointed to each other, blaming one another for having eaten it, or having eaten most of it. But yeah, seeing the empty pie dish was the most upsetting thing I saw yesterday. The awfulness of Fear Factor came in at a very close second.

I rewarded myself with some Yogen Fruz

So after going to that yoga class yesterday, I thought I deserved a reward. It just so happens there’s a Yogen Fruz on Robson Street, not too far from the yoga place. So naturally I went there. It made sense. Yoga, yogurt, they both start with “yog”. It was meant to be.

I hadn’t been to a Yogen Fruz in a really long time. I remember way back when there used to be one at Lansdowne Centre and I would go there sometimes as a kid with my parents. I remember being upset when it closed down. There’s still one at Oakridge Centre, but I never really go there. So I was kind of excited.

When I went in, this guy pretty much pushed me out of the way so he could get to the self serve machines. The cups were all big. I picked one up and asked what size it was. The lady told me you could fill it up as much as you want, and then you pay by weight, so if you don’t want a lot, you can just fill it up a little bit.

The plan was to just fill it up a little bit. But obviously that didn’t happen. The cup was so big that it just looked stupid to have a small amount in it. It was just a waste of cup space. So I filled it up some more, until it looked like a decent amount. And I had to throw in a few strawberries, blueberries, and pieces of granola, otherwise that would defeat the purpose of the whole create your own aspect. Of course these added to the weight, but I didn’t care. It was worth it.

I ended up paying more than I would have had I I just ordered a yogurt and let them do it for me. But it was more fun this way. And this way to don’t have to choose a size. If small isn’t enough, but the bigger size is too much, you just create your own size. It’s great having that freedom.

As I walked down the street eating my frozen yogurt, I felt people were staring at me. I bet they were jealous. Or maybe it was just cause I looked gross after yoga. But a couple girls walked by me and I heard them say “Oh my God that Yogen Fruz looks so good!”. So yeah, they were jealous. I’m pretty sure I drove more customers their way by eating my frozen yogurt on a busy street. I think I should get something for my advertising efforts. Don’t you?

I would probably fail a drug test

I would like to take this opportunity to share one of my addictions with you.  If you think this is about pot, you’re wrong.  Am I secretly addicted to hard drugs?  No, of course not.  Nothing illegal.  Just something I pick up at the local drug store.  No, not at the pharmacy.  I am not addicted to prescription drugs.  Not yet.  I would hope I still have a few more years until that happens.  Despite what the title may imply, this post is not about drugs of any kind.  Maybe addiction is too strong of a word.  Obsession maybe?

So what am I talking about, if not drugs?  Something simple.  And I don’t need to buy it at the drug store.  Any grocery store will do.  I just usually tend to buy them at London Drugs because they often have good deals on them.  I remember a few months ago, when they first came out, as I made my way down the aisle, they caught my eye.  And it was love at first sight.  At that moment I knew that it was meant to be.  And when I went home and opened the box, it was love at first bite as well.

Dare Simple Pleasures Moments lemon poppy seed cookies.  Yes, rather a long name.  But I have to specify the brand and all that, you know, so you don’t mistake my description for some other random lemon poppy seed cookie.  I would hate for you to think it was something different from the ones I actually mean.  Anyway, these are my new favourite cookies.  I remember the first time I bought them they were a really good price.  And then soon after, the price was jacked way up.  I suppose I was not the only one who soon realized how great they really were.  Lucky for me, London Drugs often has them on sale at 2 for $5, which is really quite a bargain.  I stock up whenever I see this, even if I already have some at home.  One can never have enough.

Perhaps this is why I’ve referred to it as a sort of addiction.  Whenever I see them, I have to buy them.  And whenever I buy them, I have to eat them.  And both the acts of buying them and eating them excite me.  It’s like the name indicates, they’re simple, but they bring you a moment of pleasure.  I could eat the whole box in one sitting.  I don’t, because I shouldn’t.  But I could.  I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten half a box in one sitting before.  And by sitting, I mean standing and waiting at the bus stop.  Hey, I need some way of passing the time while waiting for the bus.

Dare simple pleasures moments also has cranberry with chamomile and creme brulee flavoured cookies.  But neither of these come close to the lemon poppy seed ones.  The creme brulee were alright, but the cranberry chamomile I didn’t really care for.  But due to some weird thinking I have, since they were 2 for $5, I somehow felt the need to buy 2 different flavours.  But after doing so, I realized that I would be stuck with the second flavour, while the lemon ones were finished right away.  I have since overcome this need for diversity among cookies and have come to accept that lemon poppy seed are the only ones for me.

You’re probably still wondering about the title of this post.  Why would I fail a drug test?  Did I use the wrong title on this blog post?  Was the title supposed to actually be “I love lemon poppy seed cookies!”?  No.  I meant what I said.  The connection is the fact that there are poppy seeds in the cookies.  And consuming a large amount of poppy seeds can  cause a false positive in a drug test.  I think back to the Seinfeld episode, where Elaine tests positive after eating poppy seed muffins.  I’m not sure what the actual amount is that you need to consume.  I’m probably nowhere near there.  Yet.  But if I continue with the path I’m on, I may get there faster than I think.  If I even do need to take a drug test, I just hope it’s around the time when these cookies are not on sale.

Last Friday Night

No, we didn’t dance on table tops or take too many shots. We didn’t drink at all actually. It was just one of those girls night out type of things where we didn’t really have much of a plan as such. Well we sort of did, but it sort of fell through.  So we made it up as we went along, which turned out to be a whole lot better.  Given that last week was short in terms of work, we were still exhausted by the end of it.  Don’t get me wrong, four day work weeks are great, I wish I could do them all the time.  But somehow it was still stressful.

We had planned to watch a movie on Friday.  We decided on “What’s Your Number?” even though we heard it got bad reviews.  But hey, typical story line, hot guys, minimal thinking involved.  So why not?  The thing about movie times is that they’re always a major inconvenience.  They’re either too early or too late.  Never a nice, normal, in between time.  The movie was supposed to be playing at 7:25pm.  So we needed a quick dinner.  This turned out to be a good thing, as it allowed me to try Japadog for the first time.  I liked it.

When we got to the theatre to purchase our tickets, the movie was not listed.  I began to think I was crazy but I had sworn I read that it was playing there.  Using my blackberry, I checked the website, and the movie was conveniently no longer listed.  But I swear it was listed the night before.  My friend confirmed this.  I think Scotiabank and tribute.ca are just conspiring against me to make me think I’m crazy when I’m really not.  But yeah.  There were other movies, but not ones we all wanted to watch at that very moment.  So we decided to hell with movies, we’ll go do something else.

My friend suggested True Confections.  It was a bit of a walk from the theatre, but it was worth it.  On the way, we passed a huge skunk.  I am terrified of skunks.  Never been sprayed and I hope to keep it that way.  I ran across the street in the opposite direction to get the hell away from it.  When it’s dark, they seem to appear out of nowhere.  You never know when or where they may be lurking.

So yes, True Confections.  Since we didn’t indulge in drink that night, instead we indulged in food.  There were four of us and we each ordered cake.  Well, I ordered pie, cause I like to be different.  My friend and I shared pecan pie and lemon heaven cake, while my other friends shared pumpkin cheesecake and tiramisu.  Since we ordered things to share in that manner, my friend remarked that it probably looked like we were on a lesbian double date.  She said this rather loudly, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some people actually thought that we were.

The rest of the night was filled with a bunch of random and hilarious comments and inside jokes, that when heard partially or out of context, would likely be taken the wrong way.  I can’t repeat them here, you wouldn’t get it, they’re inside jokes.  All I know is I haven’t laughed that hard in a really long time.  As I mentioned, we didn’t drink.  We didn’t need to.  I’m pretty sure people at the place thought that we were crazy or on something or maybe both?  We did get a few weird looks.  Well, maybe more than a few.  But we didn’t care.  We had our cake and we ate it too.  We had good food and good company and that’s all that mattered.

So did we go out and party after we left?  No, we went to my friend’s place and watched food network and Criminal Minds.  Neither were my first choice, but that’s okay.  It’s hard for me to watch food network without getting hungry.  Okay, impossible.  Even though we’d just had desserts.  And I can’t watch Criminal Minds without thinking of Dharma & Greg.  And then I just think “Why are you so angry Greg?  Don’t be angry.” (I’m not actually sure what his name is on the show).

On my way home that night, there were of course drunk people around.  Also, teenagers smoking at the bus stop, thinking they looked cool.  The trip home, always eventful.  But I was very content with my night and my desserts.  I didn’t have to worry about a hangover the next morning or not being able to remember things.  All I had to worry about was how am I going to work off all this cake and pie I just ate?