I saw male strippers with my grandma

Yeah, so the title of this post is self explanatory.  But I’m guessing you want details?  Like how and why?  More like how awesome was it and why did it take this long for me to write about it?

Thunder From Down Under

Obviously this appealed to me

While in Vegas, I went to see seven shows.  Thunder From Down Under was one of my favourites.  We were looking through the different shows that we could potentially go to and trying to organize our time, figuring out which days we would do what.  I was staying at the Luxor, which has a connection to the Excalibur.  They had a deal at these hotels where you can attend two of their shows for $75.  So naturally, I went for this deal.

I wore my best looking shoes to the show

I wore my best looking shoes to the show

I commented on how I wanted to see it, and to my surprise, my grandma said she would go with me.  I had to make sure she was serious.  She was.  I wanted my cousin to come too, but she was only 18 at the time.  But lucky for us, 18 year olds are allowed to go as long as they are accompanied by an adult over the age of 21.  Done and done.

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My cousin and I, awaiting the show

We had some time before the show started, so my cousin and I went back to our respective hotels to get ready while my grandma did some more gambling.  Before we met up to go in, my grandma asked someone where the Thunder From Down Under Showroom was.  Apparently they replied with, “YOU’RE going to Thunder From Down Under?”  To which she replied, “Yes, I’m going with my granddaughters,” in a way that suggested that it was a perfectly normal thing for her to be doing.

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They’re so good, they have their own Showroom

My cousin and I were so excited for the show.  The novelty of it wasn’t so much the fact that we were going to see strippers.  It was the fact that we were going to see strippers with our grandma.  Who does that?  Who else can say that they’ve done that?  I’m probably the only person who can say she saw male strippers with her 18 year old cousin and her 79 year old grandma.  And more importantly, that I enjoyed seeing male strippers with my 18 year old cousin and my 79 year old grandma.

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My grandma bought me a thunder cocktail

My grandma’s awesomeness does not stop with the fact that she agreed to come with us.  She also bought me a drink.  And not just any drink.  A giant fishbowl drink.  I was still trying to finish it at the end of the show.

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My giant fishbowl drink

This was my first time at a male strip show.  Because sadly, there are no male strip clubs in Vancouver.  At least none that I am aware of.  Are there?  In Nevada, apparently there’s a law where they’re not allowed to remove everything.  So no full frontal.  But my grandma mentioned to us that back in her day, they took everything off.

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Me and my fishbowl

Before the show started, there were videos on the screen with various clips of the men from Thunder From Down Under.  In one of them, it showed them all hanging out in their dressing rooms, and one guy was playing guitar, and one of them was straightening the other guy’s hair.  I was like is that what they do when they hang out?  Sit around straightening each other’s hair and serenading each other on the guitar?

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Our seats weren’t half bad

Like any good male strip show, there was a fake orgasm contest, where the host brings three ladies onstage to do their best fake orgasm to win prizes.  I’m kind of glad I didn’t get picked for that.  It would probably be horrifying to have to do that in front of my cousin and my grandma.  And I’m even more grateful that neither of them went up.  I can’t even imagine.

It was thrilling walking through those doors

It was thrilling walking through those doors

I loved their dance numbers.  And their bodies.  It’s actually quite intimidating how insanely in shape they keep themselves.  There were a bunch of times when they would invite a girl on stage to get some private one on one time with one of the guys.  Sadly, I was not chosen.  It’s usually girls who are there for bachelorette parties and birthdays that get to go up.  Or whichever girl screams the loudest.

It was all so exciting

It was all so exciting

They don’t stay onstage for the entire time.  Sometimes they come around out into the audience.  Which was great for us because we had a couple of them pass by our table a few times.  One guy came around and he gave my grandma a hug and he gave my cousin a hug.  But he completely ignored me.  I was feeling rather neglected.  But the later, another guy came by and sat on my lap.  So it was all good in the end.

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The Showroom

After the show, you get the chance to get your picture taken with the guys onstage.  No, sadly my grandma did not get one taken.  But she gave my cousin and I $20 each to get them for ourselves.  Would your grandma give you money to go sit on a stripper’s lap?  Yeah, didn’t think so.

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Next time, I’m buying some merchandise

They showed us different poses that they could do with us.  For one of them, they said it was for your ex-boyfriends, and they were all giving the finger.  My cousin, being the classy girl that she is, decided to choose that one.  So she, along with the guys, are all giving the finger to the camera.  She said it was a message to all the guys who have hurt her, that the Thunder From Down Under guys support her.  I thought that was pretty awesome.

Girl's night outback. How clever.

Girl’s night outback. How clever.

I went for something a little less harsh, and just positioned myself across their laps.  Still keeping it classy as always.  Clint, the guy with the pink hair greeted me on the stage and said he liked my outfit.  He was my favourite.  He had dyed his hair pink to show support for breast cancer awareness.  I also liked Matthew, the guy who hosted it.  At the end, he does some stripping himself, which is awesome.  And then I sat on the young guy’s lap and we talked about how they had done a show at the River Rock the previous year and how I’m from Richmond.  I was still talking to him and didn’t even realize my time was up.  I totally could have sat there longer…

My classy as hell photo

My classy as hell photo

Because we’re awesome, we checked our coupon books for coupons for a free poster from the merchandise shop.  But in all our excitement, we forgot to claim them.  Luckily our hotels were right near the Excalibur, so we went back to get what was rightfully ours.

Yay for free posters

Yay for free posters

There was a 9:00pm show and an 11:00pm show.  We went to the early one.  Grandma likes to party, but she still needs to be in bed at a reasonable hour.  You have the opportunity to get your photos and posters signed at the end of the show, but for some reason we didn’t.  But I was determined not to miss out.

Woo hoo

Woo hoo

After leaving my grandma and my cousin and going back to my hotel, I went back to the Thunder From Down Under Showroom to wait.  I dropped stuff off in my room first and my dad asked me where I was going since it was quite late by that time.  I informed him I was going to go get my stuff signed by strippers and went on my way.

Waiting to get my merchandise signed

Waiting to get my merchandise signed

I had to wait a while.  A lot of girls from the second show were getting their photos taken, and taking their time doing so.  But it was well worth the wait.  What’s better than a Thunder From Down Under photo and poster?  A signed Thunder From Down Under photo and poster.  Plus further interaction with the guys, however minimal it may have been.  I made sure I was visible enough in the crowd to push through and get each one of their signatures.

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Is it worth more because it’s been signed?

This experience was probably the most memorable of the trip.  And one of my most memorable experiences in general.  For some, Vegas may be all about getting wasted in some high end nightclub.  But for me, it was all about strippers with my grandma.

Free birthday pasta at Boston Pizza

Two days after my birthday, I decided to use my Boston Pizza birthday deal.  If you sign up for the Boston Pizza email club, you get a coupon for either a free pasta or a free dessert.  Since the pastas cost more than the desserts, it seemed only logical to redeem the coupon for a free pasta.

I met my friends at the Boston Pizza on Broadway after work.  Unlike the Red Robin on Broadway, the Boston Pizza does still exist.  I’m glad I avoided having two fails in a row.  That would have been embarrassing.

I chose spaghetti and meatballs for my dinner.  Simple, yet delicious.  And it came with garlic bread.  The portions are huge, so I still had some leftover as well.  And it’s very rare for me to have any leftovers.

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Spaghetti and meatballs

Stella Artois happened to be on special that day.  When I went to Red Robin, I didn’t get asked for my ID.  I was surprised, since I get ID’d everywhere.  I thought maybe now that I was 24, that was it.  But I was mistaken.  I got ID’d at Boston Pizza.  I’m pretty sure my waiter was younger than me too.  Oh well.  He brought me my beer and that’s all that matters.

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Stella Artois

When you sign up for the Boston Pizza newsletter, not only do they send you a coupon on your birthday, you also get a coupon for a free starter, just for signing up.  I didn’t want to use two coupons in one day.  I’m not sure if you’re allowed.  So the following week, I went to the Boston Pizza on No. 3 Road in Richmond and got my free Boston Pizza bread with bolognese dip.

bread

Boston Pizza bread

There was no Stella on special that day, so I opted for a cocktail.  I don’t remember what it was exactly.  It was sweet.  And I loved how it came with a gummy worm.  That’s true class and maturity right there.

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Cocktail with a gummy worm

The Boston Pizza deal is pretty awesome, since you get an entire pasta and they give you over a week to redeem it.  And the starter is a nice bonus.  The only way it could be better is if they offered free birthday drinks as well.  But that’s probably asking for too much.  I’m more than happy with free pasta and bread.  I love my carbs.

“Bahhh!”

So the other night I went out for some drinking and dancing.  But as with most nights, the most memorable part does not happen at the club, although there were a few.  Like the moment where this guy started dancing up behind me and I couldn’t see what he looked like.  So I said to my friend “What does the guy behind me look like?”.  To which she replied “He looks like he’s high or something.”  At which point I decidedly moved away from said guy.  It’s always good to have a friend you can count on in moments such as those.

There was also the moment when I was in the bathroom and Don’t Stop Believing started playing.  All the girls started singing and dancing as if that bathroom was a dance floor.  But I think a lot of people in most places treat wherever they are at the moment that song plays as a dance floor.  That’s just how it is.  But one girl did not go crazy like the rest.  Instead, she asked her friend what the song was.  Apparently she had never heard it before.

And there was the time before I got there, when I was making my way on the sky train.  There were these two drunk underage girls who decided to go and sit on the ledge at the back of the sky train.  And one of them was somewhat incoherently babbling about how she always wanted to sit up there but thought that people would judge her and how it was natural and like the circle of life.  And then she started singing The Circle of Life.  Badly.  And then they talked about how they were meeting up with some guys who I guess were foreign because they said that if they got caught drinking, they would get deported.  They were thankful that they themselves would only get thrown in the drunk tank.  I wonder what ended up happening to them.

And there was the time at the bar when we ordered a pitcher and my friend poured it badly and we laughed about how there was too much head.  And yes, I know, I’m totally jumping all over the places with these random moments and not going in any order whatsoever.  But I’m talking about a night that involved drinking, so really you can’t expect me to recollect things in the chronological order in which they occurred.

At the end of the night, we were standing outside on the corner, figuring out which way to go and seeing who was taking a cab or a night bus or whatever and making sure we knew where we were going.  While we were doing so, this guy was pushing another guy in a wheelchair across the street.  There was something wrong with this guy.  Both of them actually.  The old guy in the wheelchair was scary looking and incoherent.  We thought nothing of it, but then suddenly he reached out his hand and yelled “Bahhh!” at whoever was around.  Which happened to be us.  I don’t know what he wanted.  Money?  He didn’t say, nor did the guy who was pushing him.  But upon getting to our side of the street, they did not keep going.  They sort of hung around that area, continuing whatever it was they were trying to accomplish.  We had to move away several times, because the guy kept pushing him in our direction.  Eventually, we figured out our shit and crossed the street.

Don’t ask me why that was the most memorable moment.  I really couldn’t tell you.  I guess it’s just not everyday that someone appears out of nowhere and yells “Bahhh!” at you as if it’s supposed to mean something, let alone someone in a wheelchair in the dark in the middle of the night.

Remember that time you got drunk?

My brothers are in Grade 5.  In their class, they are learning about DARE, drug abuse resistance education.  In a homework assignment, they were required to write about drugs and the decisions that people make about them.  I happened to read one of my brother’s rough drafts.  He talked about tobacco, marijuana, and alcohol.  In talking about these, he was required to give examples.  One particular example, regarding alcohol, hit a little too close to home.  Here is an excerpt of what he wrote:

“For example: My older sister Dominique was at our Aunts house, and she was drinking lots of wine.  Than she fell asleep fast because she drank too much.  After, we had to carry her to a bed which was in a room, but unfortunately, we bumped her head on a door.  Luckily she didn’t feel it because she was sleeping.  This can happen to you if you drink too much.”

Yeah.  He’s handing that in.  Luckily, his teacher is one who wasn’t there when I was in elementary school, and therefore doesn’t know me.  So it’s okay.  And his description isn’t that bad.  That’s pretty much what happened.  I happened to be sitting near the bottles of wine, and somehow got the task of pouring it for people.  And every time I poured a glass for someone else, I usually poured some more for myself as well.  Without eating.

Dinner did not come soon enough.  And so apparently at some point I put my head down on the table and didn’t lift it back up again.  It took a couple minutes and then someone asked if I was okay.  And then apparently my mom and my sister sort of carried me to the bedroom.  But not before they accidentally hit my head against the wall and then dropped me and then laughed about it.  I have such a loving family.

I ended up spending the night at my aunt’s house.  I remember my parents attempting to get me to leave with them later but that obviously wasn’t going to happen.  My brother had a basketball game that night, and there was no way I would have been able to sit through it.  Perhaps my subconscious made me drink too much, so that I could avoid having to sit through a basketball game?

This happened like three years ago.  My siblings never let me forget it.  “Remember that time you got drunk…” is often a conversation opener that comes up every now and then for whatever reason.  My sister also used this example for her religion homework one year, I think when she was in Grade 9.  I’m not sure what the topic was.  But yeah.  She had a teacher that I never had as well thankfully.  I think her description was more detailed as well.  And I believe one of the lines was something like “and then we dropped her and she hit her head.  It was so funny!”.  I don’t think her teacher was amused.

I’d like to think that I’m a good older sister.  I set a good example.  A good example of what not to do.  I believe I have successfully put my brothers and sister off of drinking.  And least for a while.  Sadly, this was not the only time they had seen me drink too much.  Cause you know, once isn’t enough to let the message sink in.  That’s how much I care.

Clubbing

It’s stupid.  It makes no sense.  It’s a major waste of money.  And yet we do it anyway.  Why?  Are we stupid?  Maybe it’s just me who feels this way.  I’m a major hypocrite.  Much of what I do in life is highly counterintuitive and clubbing happens to be one of those things.

I remember one day I was having a conversation with a few of my older coworkers.  They were recalling a time, not even that long ago, when they could take $20 to the bar and get plastered.  Upon hearing this, I sat there upset, with a “this is so unfair” look on my face.  If I were to take $20 to the bar today, I wouldn’t even be able to get in anywhere.  Some clubs have a cover charge of $21 now.  Why?  Why such a random number like that?  I remember when I heard that I thought, wait, 21, is that the cover charge or the age you have to be to get in?  It’s dumb, you can’t even give them a $20 bill, you have to fish in your purse for change.  I feel like in this case, it should be acceptable to give them a twenty, and then throw 100 pennies at them just for the inconvenience.

As I was trying to figure out which club to go to last night, we were trying to weigh the cover charges, length of lineups, etc.  One thing I hate is when pubs suddenly start charging cover at night.  I don’t want to pay money to be able to be at a pub.  If you think about it, it really doesn’t make much sense.  I’m going to pay you money, to allow me the privilege of being able to spend more money once inside.  And then there’s coat check which goes up to like $5.  And then you get creative, shoving your jacket into your bag so you can check them both together, or saying, no, I don’t need a jacket even if it’s cold and raining, I’ll be fine…  Or risking it and leaving your jacket/bag in a corner, under a table, hidden, assuming no one will take it, because it’s the decent and honest people who frequent the clubs…

In the end, it’s probably not even the money that’s the biggest problem.  It’s what you’re paying for and what you’re getting from the experience.  What I usually get is stepped on, shoved, drinks spilled on me, creepy people staring, ugly guys hitting on me, and my personal space invaded.  I remember telling a friend once that I hate crowds.  And then he said, but you go clubbing all the time.  And yeah, I couldn’t explain myself with that one.  I don’t know why I keep going back?  Maybe it just seems like the appropriate thing for someone of my age to be doing?

But really how I justify it is that I like dancing.  And it’s more socially acceptable to dance badly when you’re at a club.  I mean I’m not the worst dancer in the world, but I wouldn’t say I’m great.  So-so maybe, at best.  I remember a few years ago, my very conservative aunt and grandma had a conversation with me about clubs and how they were bad and I shouldn’t go to them.  My aunt said that girls in Vancouver go to clubs because they’re looking to hook up.  What’s funny is that at that point in time I had only been clubbing a couple times.  But after that, I began to frequent them more.  Maybe because I was told not to?  Who knows?

But yes, I go clubbing because I like to dance.  I’ve learned that clubs are an awful place to meet guys.  I mean I’m sure it works for some people but not for me.  I don’t go there for that purpose.  It’s just unfortunate that more often than not, the ugliest guy in the club will be the one to express interest.  And if you want to go and just dance, couples tend to ruin your experience by surrounding you and getting in your personal space.  I’ve realized that gay bars are better, because you don’t have to deal with the creepy straight guys.  Although, the creepy straight guys have caught on that us straight girls have become fans of gay bars, and now they show up there too.  They’ve gone and ruined a good thing.

So will I continue to go clubbing when it never really turns out the way I had hoped?  Probably.  Simply because I tend to do things that are counterintuitive.  And because I can.  And because I just want to dance?  And people say I may as well go while I’m young and still can.  At some point in time I suppose I will just suddenly stop being able to?  Although every time I go, there’s always the one lone old person on the dance floor, probably desperate to feel young again, pretending as if this is where they belong.  Maybe someday that will be me.  Maybe I don’t appreciate what clubs have to offer right now, but when I’m old and lonely, I will see the value…