So I wore a dress with no leggings on Tuesday, not realizing how cold it actually was. What a fail. If there was ever a day when I should have worn pants, that was probably it. But my leg hair was growing back fast, and I wanted to go bare legged while I still could without having to shave again. I’m stubborn that way. I don’t dress based on the weather. I dress based on whether or not I’ve shaved, and based on what clean clothes I can find that sort of match. I knew it might be cold and rainy that day, but I didn’t care.
This dress is slightly longer than my other dresses, so somehow I thought that would make it more weather appropriate. I got it at an Orb warehouse sale at the River Rock Casino. I feel like I should be wearing a cowboy hat or something, just because I’m wearing denim. When I was in high school, at an all girls school, they had an idea one year that they would make Valentine’s Day fun by making it a “couples day”, where you could find a partner and dress as some sort of famous couple. My friend and I did Brokeback Mountain. I was Heath Ledger. And I was amazing. But we unfortunately didn’t win a prize for our awesome efforts. Probably because it was also a Catholic school and they weren’t ready to accept our same sex love story.
Anyway, I love jean jackets. I got this one at Old Navy on Robson Street downtown when I had leftover super cash to spend. I didn’t want to wear an actual rain jacket or anything even though it was cold, because it’s June and I’ve set aside the boots and the jackets. But this jean jacket seemed acceptable. It looks as though I haven’t quite set aside the scarves just as yet. At least not for cold days. I got this one from a vendor at the UBC Sub. I got the red necklace as a Christmas gift from my grandma. The Supernatural wing earrings are from Fan Expo Vancouver, my ring is from UBC, and my bracelet is from Suzy Shier. I thought about touching up my nails, but I think they’re too far gone now so I’ll just let them keep chipping away until there’s nothing left to see.
The best part about Valentine’s Day does not actually occur on February 14th. Rather, it begins on February 15th and continues for a couple days after that. Of course, I’m talking about discounted candy. For those who may not receive all the heart shaped chocolates and candy that they had hoped for, they can take solace in the fact that they can purchase these for themselves for fairly cheap once the holiday is over.
If anyone is still interested in buying discounted Valentine’s Day candy, there is still plenty of it out there. At Dollarama, most of the Valentine’s candy is now 3 for $1. These include heart shaped chocolates, cinnamon hearts, lollipops, and cookies. There are also some nice gourmet cookies on sale at Winners. London Drugs, Save On Foods, Safeway, and Shoppers Drug Mart are also worth checking out for their discounts.
Now that Valentine’s day is over, the stores have stocked their shelves with Easter candy. Full price Easter candy. So naturally, I plan to wait until the day after Easter before I buy any. Which will be April 1st. Which is April Fool’s Day. But discounted candy is certainly no joke.
It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve become too dependent on you. For so many things. And it isn’t right. It shouldn’t be this way. You’ve always been there for me and always been able to make me happy. But at what cost? I’ve come to realize that this might actually be a rather unhealthy relationship. It wasn’t always this way. But I feel like things have gotten progressively worse lately and I think I need to put a stop to it before things get out of hand. The joy you bring me is great while it lasts but is often only temporary. Once the moment is gone, I am either left wanting more or filled with regret.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I do not want to end things. I just need to slow things down a little and I think it would be good for us to spend some time apart. People have made remarks about how much time I’ve been spending with you and have suggested that I leave you behind sometimes. But they don’t understand how I just prefer to have you with me everywhere. I just feel better about everything knowing that you’re there. But I need to stop relying on you so much and in order to do so, we can’t be together all the time. It saddens me greatly but it’s for my own good and it’s something I really need to do.
We’ve had so many good times together and you’ve always made me very happy. I can recall times when you weren’t around and how devastated that made me feel. I never want to lose you. You’re so important to me. But sometimes I don’t like the person I am when I’m with you. Somehow I’m more reckless and some may even say out of control. I don’t want to blame you for this but I do think it’s best that I spend some time without you for a while and see how things go. I need to not rely on you so much. I promise I won’t replace you. I just need to spend some time alone.
I’m sorry to be doing this so close to Valentine’s Day. Perhaps that was bad timing on my part. But it has to be done. I remember that one time you rejected me and I didn’t understand because it had never happened before. I will miss you. But if you just give me some time, I am pretty certain I will come back to you if you will let me. I think the time apart will do us some good and it will really help me to sort things out and get my life together with less complications. Some don’t think I am capable of surviving without you. I have to prove them wrong. I know I can. Life is better with you. But I need to prove to others and to myself that I am not dependent upon you. And this is why we need to take a break.
So yeah, I’ve decided to give up my Visa for Lent.