Elimination of the pennies

On February 4th, the Canadian mint will stop manufacturing pennies. Stores will still accept them as tender, but a new rounding system will be implemented. Think back to your basic elementary school math when you learned how to round to the nearest 5.  This only has an impact on cash transactions, so people like me who use their Visa for everything don’t really need to worry about it.

Last week, I received an email at work regarding this matter. The subject line said “Elimination of the pennies”. But when I read it, at first I thought it said “Elimination of the penis”. That would have been far more tragic. Although I’m curious to know what an email like that might have entailed.

pennies

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Alternate titles for my previous blog post

Here is a list of 20 alternate titles that I could have used for my previous blog post,          The Surprise

Surprise!

The gift of a penis

And then I whipped it out

Public indecency

Mini penis cake pop

That special night

I know how to satisfy

Dick in a box

It was tasty

Thank you for the penis

The perfect gift

She liked my penis

True friendship

Mmm, chocolate

Viewer discretion is advised

Put it in your mouth

Suck my dick

Something special

Oh, you shouldn’t have

How to satisfy a woman

The surprise

I wanted to give her something special.  Something that I knew she would enjoy.  All I wanted was to make her happy.  I guess I kind of did it without warning.  I knew that she would love it but I also knew that she wasn’t expecting anything.  She thought we were just going out like normal and that nothing was going to happen.  But she thought wrong.

I sat there and waited for the right time to do it.  Was there a right time?  I didn’t know.  But I knew that tonight was the night.  We were close enough that this was something I could do without seeming inappropriate or scaring her off.  Some may have found it awkward.  But I knew that she was different.  She would appreciate what I had to offer.  And so I just whipped it out.  In public.  She was shocked at first but she liked it and in the end she was satisfied and thanked me for it.

So yeah, I’m talking about last night when I gave my friend a mini penis shaped cake pop that I got from the Erotic Cake booth at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show in Vancouver.

cake pop

Nothing says friendship like a mini penis cake pop.

It’s over

I think it’s finally time.  I think I’ve finally had enough.  I thought we’d be together forever.  Or at least a little longer.  I guess I’ve known for a while now that things haven’t been working out between us.  They haven’t been the same as they used to.  But I feel like there was once a time where I was happy with you and didn’t want you to ever leave my side.  I still don’t want you to leave my side, but I know very soon that I may have to ask you to do so.  Because I need better.  I deserve better.

I don’t ask that much of you.  At least I don’t think I do.  Certainly no more than other people in similar situations do.  All around me, I see people who have it better than I do.  They look at you with judging eyes and wonder what I’m even doing with you.  They tell me that I can do a lot better.  And they even make suggestions, telling me that it’s time to leave you behind and move on.  But I haven’t listened.  I’ve told them I was content with what we have, and I’ve defended you when they’ve mocked you.  They just don’t understand.  I thought maybe they were jealous of my ability to cope with all that you’ve put me through.  But maybe they were just tired of seeing me suffer for so long.

You have put me through a lot.  Caused unnecessary stress and frustration in my life that could have otherwise been avoided had you just been willing to cooperate with me.  I don’t know why you began to refuse so many times.  Trying to get information out of you is just such a chore and you’re so unwilling to provide me with what I need.  You know I have needs and they are not being met.  With you, I am constantly left unsatisfied, more often than not.  And it’s a shame because I wish that we could make things work.

I’ve tried so hard to hold on to you and to what we have but I think the time to listen to my peers and get rid of you is approaching.  Not today.  Not tomorrow.  But soon.  I know that I can be needy sometimes, but you’re supposed to be there for me and you aren’t so I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.  I need better.  You can’t keep up with me and my demands and so I’m going to have to find another.  I’m sorry if you think that I’m being unreasonable but you should have seen this coming.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

In other words, I’m seriously considering getting rid of my Blackberry and getting an iPhone.

Thoughts during my first class of 2013

I decided to take an undergrad course at UBC this semester.  Don’t ask me why.  I decided on CNPS 427.  It’s been a while since I’ve taken a CNPS course in the Scarfe building.  It brought back memories.  Here are some thoughts that I had during the class:

-If my prof wore glasses, he would sort of look like Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World.

-He has a nice sweater vest.

-I like how his shirt and tie match exactly.  I think the tie might actually be part of the shirt.  Either way, it’s brilliant.

-I’m bored.

-Why am I still in school?

-Is it ironic that I’m taking a class called “Planning and Decision Making” when I clearly suck at both?

-Why am I the only one eating food right now?  Is no one else hungry?  Whatever.

-Is everyone else actually paying full attention right now?

-I don’t want to buy another $100 textbook.  Damnit.

-Of course I would pick a course that required a written assignment, an in class presentation, and a final exam.  FML.

-You would think by now I would have stopped making the awful decision to take 3 hour classes.  Apparently not.

This is my first blog post of 2013

Sorry it took so long.  I hope the quality of this post is not indicative of the type of year I’m going to have.  I’ll just leave you with a picture of me ringing in the new year with my sparkles and champagne at Celebrities.

champagne

I hope I get another opportunity to wear an outfit this shiny again some time.

Happy New Year!